mizChartreuse || redefiningSuccess

You’re never gonna be content if you don´t try to see outside your line. There you go, you did it again! You act as if there´s blinders on your eyes.
—Incubus, “Glass”

I have stressed the importance of being empatic countless times in my writings. People are different, and it’s these variances that make people unique–hence the term “individual.” It’s easy to say that you understand someone’s point of view, but it’s a whole different thing to exercise empathy.

It’s not the same as “sympathy,” which is more about sharing the feelings of another or condoling someone. “Empathy,” rather, is intellectual identification with, or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another, as dictionary.com so nicely puts it. In a nutshell, sympathy is related to feeling, and empathy is related to understanding.

Everyone has different backgrounds and experiences, both of which shape who they are and how they do things. I think when people realize that something “different” does not equate with “weird,” they will be in a much better position on the concept of empathy. People are quick to call things weird or strange when come across things the unfamiliar or it’s something they don’t understand.

A Macedonian girl I work with at the Stadium Club was eating her salad with her hands like you would potato chips. She said you get more energy from the food when you don’t use utensils. Not weird, different.

When I was in Ghana, one girl from my group said, “That’s so weird!” in regard to how the schoolchildren all wore their hair cropped short, even girls. She made that remark that several times throughout our travels. It’s not weird, it’s different. But then again, what can you expect from someone who goes to Africa solely to see the textiles?! I digress…

My point in even discussing all this is because one of the bloggers I subscribe to, AChaise, posted something quite profound the other day, and I wanted to share it here because I love the way she put it. Feel free to click the link and check out her other blogs.

Without further ado…

“If you don’t know what DWB means…
If you don’t know what it’s like “on the wrong side of the tracks”…
If you don’t have a concept of the pains of the immigration process…
If you have never rolled up pennies to pay for groceries…
If you have never worried how you were going to get to work because your only car has broken down…
If you have never had a loved one in jail because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong skin tone…
If you have never worried about where you were going to lay your head at night…
If you have never gone without medical care because of a lack of insurance…
If you have never cried yourself to sleep because of the stress of finances…
If you have never pawned jewelry to pay the utility bills…
If you have never worried about how you would pay to go to college…

YOU ARE PRIVILEGED and your lack of experience causes a lack of empathy.

Someone who is overly pampered cannot begin to understand the pains of someone who is constantly in turmoil. Someone who is protected and sheltered from these types of experiences will never really empathize with people having those experiences. There will always be a judgment. There will always be a feeling of superiority.

Some of you out there judge others for their failures, or are so blind to the racial injustices in this country that you think that race is no longer a factor. You do this and it hurts me to see you wearing the blinders of privilege.

You need to go out and diversify your friend circle.
You need to learn what it is like for the poor of this world.
You need to find out what the immigrant population goes through.
You need some friends from all socio-economic backgrounds.
You need friends of all ethnicities, and from all races.

You need these people for YOU, because you need to learn another perspective.
You need to value that perspective.
You need to understand that you have been taught the idealism that everyone is equal, but that society doesn’t practice it.”

Well said.

I am a firm believer in the value of traveling and experiencing culture shock. This past year, visiting six international countries (and another HUGE one later this month!) has radically changed my perspective on humanity. Even just visiting different regions of the US has “broadened my horizons,” if you will. And I’m not going to stop going places and experiencing walks of life that are different from my own. I need to have set foot on every continent, in as many countries as possible. The travel bug has bitten.

It disturbs me when people are so content in their tiny nook in some small pocket of the country and have no desire to see what else is out there. The world is so vast and has so much to offer, how can you be so caught up in yourself, thinking that your way is the best, right and only way to do things? Sorry, sir, but America holds a small percentage of the world’s population, and there are billions of people functioning just fine (if not better!) in a completely different manner.

Even without going halfway across the world (which will definitely change you), you can still be empathic of different personalities, cultures, lifestyles, ethnic backgrounds and the like.

I don’t think I need to elaborate more about this, but hopefully you get the point.