mizChartreuse || redefiningSuccess

David Sedaris readers should ‘get’ the play on words in the title of this blog.

Now that the holidays are over…I can finally write about them!

I overheard part of my friends’ phone conversation on the matter, and I have decided that when I have children, they’re not getting fun, shiny gifts for Christmas. They’re only getting books and National Geographic magazines all year round.

“Toys?” I’ll say. “You want…a toy. A $70 toy. Try again. How about Othello, The Great Gatsby or Walden Pond and Civil Disobedience? What are you gonna do with a toy? The world doesn’t like you, little half black child! You’re gonna read! What were you thinking?”

I’m obviously kidding. But that’s what I told my brother this year, ha! I’m such an ass. Really, he’s a good kid, and my children are going to be blessed with abundance too. I also have to make sure I procreate with someone who’s beautiful AND smart (as if I would settle for anything less).

But finally, the whirlwind of the holidays is dying down and I can actually just BE for a minute without rushing off to this party or that social gathering or whatever other holiday obligations I have had. It’s not easy being in such high demand, man. Seriously, in spite of the craziness, it really was a beautiful time of year for me and a lovely way to end 2007.

‘Twas the Weekend Before Christmas…

…and it was a blast! It was kicked off right by Allie and I having a fabulous evening in Wrigleyville on Friday.

Oh, but of course, my car refused to start at 9 that morning when I was going to my math final, but I really can’t be pissed about that because I brought it upon myself. “I really don’t want to take this stupid math final,” I had thought several times the night before and that morning. I got what I asked for! I need to be more careful with my words because I’m pretty powerful at creating my life with what I think (it happened when I was in France and jokingly said I never wanted to leave—we ended up having to extend our trip. I know, poor babies!).

But all that is neither here nor there. Allie and I had a great time dancing to and poking fun at Last Fast Action at the Goose Island Brew Pub. After that fun, and a few six dollar 312s, Allie and I and the always wonderful Chris, Kristen and Danny took what felt like a four-mile walk (it was really only 4 blocks) to go out for cheapie after-show drinks. Lots of laughs.

Highlight: Allie’s and my inside jokes, and Danny’s South Park impersonations.

Then Spitalfield’s last show ever was on Sunday. I already wrote about them, but I must say again that Angelique and I had definitely too much fun that night. Too much.

Babies, booze, and cable T.V. – Comcastic!

Christmas Eve was different from past years, but very fun. Due to my newly free status, I didn’t have multiple family gatherings to go to, which was nice for a change. Danny was sweet enough to give me a ride to the suburbs, so I spent a few days out in Palatine with my mom. I like being there because I can watch retarded VH1 and MTV shows like I Love New York, A Shot at Love, True Life, The Ex-Effect, Parental Control, and movies on TBS. I don’t watch T.V. at home at all, so it was nice to veg out for once.

My mom and I went to a Zambian party at a hotel on Christmas Eve. My mom introduced me to her friends and acquaintances as her daughter, and everyone was like, “So why do you look like you’re the same age?” Ha!

The hostess was obviously on African time—the invite said the party started at 6p.m. My mom and I got there fashionably late around 7, but food wasn’t served until after 8:30.

We met a sweet lady named Brenda at the party. She had these two absolutely precious baby girls—one was three years old, the other an infant probably fewer than seven months.

Little children make me melt. I told the older one to smile, and she instantly went into little model mode—striking a pose with her hand on her hip, giving the look. Some kids are just naturals!

MAN I love little children. I am going to be the best mom in the world and they are going to love all the books I’ll buy them.

I look a lot like my mom. We were taking pictures and she said something about how I look like her, only plumper. I was like, “Ma! What the hell are you saying to me?” And she’s like, “Oh, no I didn’t mean it in a BAD way, I’m just saying your face is more supple and youthful.” HA. Good word choice, ma.

One more!

Brenda, the woman with the babies, also has a 25-year-old daughter! Insane. I could not even imagine having a newborn sibling at this age, much less a couple years from now! We took photos with the other mother-daughter duo. Everyone was all cute and red and Christmassy; I was the chick in the rocker hoodie, skinny jeans, and pointy-heels.

The party was fun, the food was good, and we met a lot of very interesting and sweet people, so I’m glad we went.

Bake, drink, eat, and pass out.

Christmas day we woke up and started baking after the usual morning routine. My mom sent me out to buy a new electric mixer, and I came back with that, champagne, wine, and cute holiday champagne glasses. Lush! We had an early afternoon champagne toast.

Even my 10-year-old brother helped! He only wanted to do the mixing though, the rest of the time he was watching cartoons on T.V. Typical male.

I definitely drank more than I baked, but that’s just me. My mom had a couple sips of champagne then put her glass in the fridge, saying, “Oh, I’ll finish this later.”

I’m posing with my ball of dough. What a ham. Clam.

The finished product! Voila!

Okay, so I obviously am either an inept cookie baker or had drank too much…but my cookies didn’t turn out quite like the picture. But do they ever really? I wanted to stick to my trademark and make black white and red cookies, but I clearly failed at making the red frosting thick and red enough. Ha! BUT they tasted fantastic, so shut up.

All right, they didn’t taste that great. I can cook, but cookies aren’t my thing.

After the wonderful dinner and such, I was already pretty buzzed so I lay on the couch to watch Elf for the probably the second and a half time that day. When it came on, I screamed with excitement and my brother looked at me and said, “You’re drunk!”

That is a hilarious movie. “You sit on a throne of lies! You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa!” Love it love it.

Later Oprah was on and I bawled my eyes out. They aired the special where she and her team went to South Africa and did so much for the children there. I don’t cry that easily, but it touched my heart and I was honestly so moved by her compassion and everything she did.

My mom was laughing at me.

Oprah said something like, “I now know why God put me here. I know why I never got married and never had children—because THESE are my children.” It was very sweet to see the huge impact she had on them—giving away backpacks stuffed full of school supplies, new shoes, beautiful presents (probably the ONLY one those children would ever receive in their lives), and threw a huge holiday party for the hundreds of kids in each village they went to. They profiled a 9-year-old girl whose mother was dying of AIDS, and it absolutely broke my heart. It makes me want to go back RIGHT NOW and do more to help. It doesn’t take much at all, and if you think YOU have nothing, imagine the “nothingness” African children have. Incomparable.

And then I stayed up til probably 4 a.m. watching True Life on MTV.

The Morning-After Fill and Getting my Fill of Jen

Allie and I had a most excellent morning-after Christmas breakfast in Buffalo Grove on Wednesday, wherein I received my gorgeous earrings from Tiffany’s, and a couple other sweet things. We totally had a bonding moment with two ladies at the table over when we all tried to remember the word artichoke. Nevermind…don’t ask. The food was great, though!

That night at United Center, my secret Santa gave me my favorite Victoria’s Secret fragrance. The red purse it came in is so HOT. Also, a couple of our season ticket holders at the Chicago Stadium Club on the Lexus Club Level (yes that’s what it’s really called—ugh), gave me assorted thoughtful things. Our manager gave each employee a Lottery ticket for the Mega Millions. I obviously didn’t win, but that was cool. People are too good to me, and I am very thankful for each individual!

The rest of Christmas week was just a bunch of debauchery. Okay maybe not THAT bad, but a lot of fun ensued.

Thursday night, Angelique and I went to the bar at WOW! On Halsted and Maxwell. I had to walk past Morgan’s, where I used to work, and that place makes me nauseous to this day. Later, Sara, Natalie, and Jen Videochick came to meet up with us. Such great girls.

Highlight: The owner knows Ange and me from our days at Morgan’s, and he hooked up our drinks all night. Score.

On Friday, Nancy and I went out after work and met up with her friend Daniel at De Cero for delectable passion fruit martinis, then we went up north to Tilli’s with him. JenVid and her boyfriend met up with us.

Highlight: Seeing the lovely Jen (again) and meeting her boyfriend.

Saturday, the Angel Lady took me out for dinner and we went to see The Great Debaters with Denzel Washington. I cried a little again. It was empowering, heartwarming, and inspiring, with GREAT performances. She also gave me a beautiful crystal necklace in the shape of an angel (hehe).

After that, my favorite Mikey Likey called me and I met up with him, Danny, and *ding ding ding* Miz Jen Videochick and Josh yet again! That was three days in a row; four times in one week! When I arrived I overheard Josh say, “Again!?” Haha. Christoph, Kris10, Powers and Spang also joined us a little later. They are all ridiculously funny.

Photos from Jen’s facebook:

Highlight: Dinner and a movie(!), popcorn slinging and Wrigleyville Dogs for late-night munchies.

Sunday was the last Bears game of the year. It was nice to see them win! After that, Natalie and I decided to stalk Jen, so we went to her house and hung out with her mom and sister until Jen and Josh got home from the nerd museum, haha. We ate peet-za con la familia de Ruvalcabas and they’re all hysterical.

Highlight: Earlier while Nat and I were half sleeping on the couch, I awoke to hear Jen’s sister yell, “So why do you smell like syrup?!” at her brother. That’s just a funny thing to wake up to.

Questions of the night:
Is “caca” a Spanish word, or is it universal?

Do you say:
Mom or Ma?
Chicago or Chicaga?
saw-sage or saa-sage?
Living room, front room, or fronchroom?

Oh, we Chicaga-ans are an interesting bunch.

Out with the Old, In with the New

Monday morning, New Year’s Eve, EVERY single person was late to work (call time that day: 9:30), even our supervisor/assistant manager. It was hilarious—you could tell he was still drunk. A server there had thrown a holiday party at her house the night before, so you could see who had gone and stayed up all night partying. Halfway through the day, I could tell our supervisor was seriously hurtin’—the booze had worn off into a wonderful hangover and he phoning it in. But he played it well and worked through it, and I was impressed. I would have said, “Screw you guys, I’m going home. Oh, and lick my balls.”

Later that evening, Nancy and I got ready together to go to her girl Biola’s party on Belmont. Her house is so great for getting ready because there are mirrors EVERYwhere with good lighting, and we could both primp ourselves without elbowing each other over the bathroom sink. I love it.

We lucked out, because although it was snowing outside, I had my temporary brand new car. So despite the blizzard raging outside, we were able to travel safely. The texture of the snow on the trees was gorgeous and the city looked mesmerizing—something out of a calendar. Ha. Danny said later that that was stoner talk, but I have sincere appreciation for beauty in nature!

Not the greatest picture. I should have taken it from the street!

Biola’s party was fantastic. Her home is gorgeous. And that girl has a keeper for a husband—holy shit can I marry someone like that please? The food and drinks were splendid. Everyone I met there was really nice and interesting to talk to. We played a couple rounds of electronic Catchphrase, and THAT was really fun. I think some people may have been too drunk to get how it worked though, ha!

really cute Andy Warhol lip coasters:

Biola and Nancy are seriously the older version of me and Allie.

Hung out for a bit, got blazed, then went to meet up with everyone at Roadie’s. Aside from the usual people, there were a bunch of dudes wearing polos or collared shirts and sweaters…but who am I to judge? If they want to chant things like, “FRANK THE TANK!” that’s their prerogative! Everyone was very friendly, however. I had a good time at both parties; they were just different.

I look high.

It’s like two kids and a dad.

Danny is a model.

Look what they found at Roadie’s house!

Highlight: The silly girls that tried to get into it with Danny. He made a simple comment about closing the balcony door, and they got all, “Oh, no you di’n't!” and “Did you just say that to my best friend?” and “Mess with her, you mess with me!” Of course, they were all of 5’2″ and completely wasted. The whole time while these little girls were blathering and bitching Danny was mocking them, “Ooh! Dramz! Dramz!” Hilarious. The floozies eventually got distracted and wandered away to puke or something.

Disregarding the silly skanks, NYE was a lot of fun, but pretty chill and low-key at the same time…or maybe I was just chiiill because of another factor

My holidays were filled with the people I love and I am very thankful.