Due to crazies, stalkers, psychos, fatties, weirdos, and long-distance bill collectors, I have changed my phone number numerous times over the past several years and am quite selective about to whom I give my digits.
This is why I was quite confused to one night receive a text message that said: “What up dis shontice play brother”
I don’t even know what that means. I was at work when I got it, and ignored it.
Five minutes later: “Can i call u”
What?
Me: Who the heck is this?
Him: This shontice brother she met u on the bus
Me: I don’t remember meeting a shontice or any girl on the bus…
Him: Thats how i got yo number cause she gave it to me
Me: Who is shontice then? And why are You texting me? What’s my name?
Him: My play bro she met u on the bus thats how she got yo number call shontice and tell ha to call me 1773 261 0895
Him: Cause she told me to text u
Me: I’m sorry i’m a girl..i don’t give out my number to women OR men and i don’t think i’ve ever met a Shontice. You may have the wrong number?
Him: No i don’t she told me to text u and she said u thick ass hell u ask ha was that ha gurlfriend on the bus and she told u that was ha cousin
Me: Nope…not me. I’m not thick, i’m pretty thin actually, and i’ve never had an encounter w girls like that on a bus.
Him: She a stud i kno she said u was pretty
Him: Then she said she goin call u lata when she was on the bus
Me: Yeah no you’ve got the wrong person. Unless this is a ‘friend’ fucking with me.
Him: Can we be friends since u dont kno im tryna get to know u shawty
WHYYYYYYYY?
I never responded after being called “shawty,” and this phantom number has texted me randomly twice since then, saying “Wat up.” Both times. Seriously. I don’t give my number out to anyone, really, MUCH LESS CHICKS ON BUSES. Wtf?
And I hate that line: “I want to get to know you.” How the hell are you gonna get to know me via text? You don’t even know who I AM!! I also hate the line: “We should kick it sometime.”
As my friend Danny told me: “Guys don’t want to kick it. They want to stick it. In you.”
Gross.
6 responses so far ↓
1 cassie // Apr 16, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Charlotte!!! WOW!! thats definitely random!! and THIS is when you text back… LOSE MY NUMBER! lol…. most guys are f’ing ridiculous!!! gotta LUV it!
2 Shak // Apr 17, 2009 at 12:26 am
“u thick ass hell ”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
i think i’m gonna start complimenting you in this manner ;P
3 Hector // Apr 17, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Char. This was so funny! I read it on my blackberry and thought about the same thing! Well semi. That’s why JR is coming into play. Ppl r becoming desperate! Let’s meet him up.. I know ghetto fights! Haha
4 Shontice // Apr 22, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Hey shawty! I know i fin yu up on da net! Yo yu shud call me up dis is shontice i a love god jis tryn to instill a girl wit a lil bit o faith!
5 Charlotte Mutesha // Apr 23, 2009 at 12:35 am
HAHAHAHAHA.
Awesome.
Hit me up; let’s kick it! Your cousin was HOT.
6 Jules // Jul 13, 2009 at 10:59 pm
““Guys don’t want to kick it. They want to stick it. In you.””
LMFAO!
Leave a Comment