Comments on: 12 reasons why you should Never Date a Musician.

By: Stormy Weather

Stormy Weather — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:54:19 +0000

My sister kept falling for the alternative muso.
It used to make me angry that as a female musician, I’d get no help or support while I’d see all the deadbeat muso guys with women who do everything for them.
She’d be their personal chauffeur, their publicist, their no 1 fan, their jealous bodyguard. She’d work to fund them while they pursued their dream. It was really gross. She even started burning his CD’s to give to people.
All this while she knew how I was struggling to be taken seriously as a musician and was DIY, doing it all myself.
They weren’t even that good, they mostly played covers or imitated other singers. They had massive egos.
All her networking and contacts she’d hand over on a plate to her boyfriends. They always screwed around on her and slowly she gave up her own ambition for these men.
It’s not just musos though, it seems in any entertainment industry men get a better deal. Women will sacrifice everything for these guys. Whenever a woman becomes successful their boyfriends go and do the dirty on them because of their insecurity.

By: Benton

Benton — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:27:38 +0000

If you didn’t partially believe it. But this is simply cold. Even now through writing it youve only further secured your views on the scum of us musicians. There are people youve described that have all sorts of hobbies. Why you picked musicians, I dont know. I do hope it scratched the itch you needed though.

By: Benton

Benton — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:24:08 +0000

I was mostly just offended while reading. Not only are these generalizations entirely too broad, but they’re flat out rude. And ive read a few articles like this and havent been superpleased with any though I haven’t even written a song about how all writers are scum and only portray lies because I sont think youd write

By: Lonely composer

Lonely composer — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 11:27:14 +0000

Ha?
I’m a musician and I’m totally not like those things you wrote!
And not all musicians are in a band you know!

By: Gigi

Gigi — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 00:32:29 +0000

I googled the search term ‘dating a musician’ and came up with your blog post. Almost everything you said has been true for me about my time dating my ex-boyfriend of three and half months. He is a very successful music producer and pianist that travels all around the country with different singing artists. We actually knew each other from our college days and we reconnected 23 years later online.

He is 40 years old, never been married and no kids. His music career has probably kept him so busy to even consider settling down. Although, he said it a few times around me that he wants to get married, his behavior never really showed me he was ready to take things serious.

He was extremely flaky in calling back at certain times during our relationship. He would communicate mainly by text messaging. We both lived on opposite coasts and we only saw each other 3 times during our 3.5 month relationship. All 3 times, I was the one that had to go see him either at his hotel or meeting at the concert venue. Also all the visits were extremely late at night.

He never kept his promise in coming to visit me when he is NOT working a gig. He would constantly tease of us going away for a weekend but again nothing. Once when we argued about this, and his response was: “I can’t plan a trip ahead of time because I don’t want to miss out on an opportunity for a music gig if it comes up.” That was just so rude and hurtful to me. I knew I would always be second to him and his career.

I recently did some research on narcissism, he definitely has narcissistic personality traits. He lacked empathy at times, selfish and mainly talk about himself.

We broke up after a trip he took to South Africa. He didn’t contact me until 5 days after arriving to SA. I had been worried sick wondering if he had made it out there safely. The way I knew he had arrived ok was that I found him leaving messages for people on facebook but didn’t even bother to contact me!! Unbelievable. I wrote him a message playing dumb like I didn’t see this and he wrote me back saying he had been trying to contact me via Skype for days!!! It was not true because when I checked there were no messages there. He didn’t try hard enough to get a hold of me because if he really wanted to hear from me he would have found other ways to contact me to let me know he was ok like calling or emailing me.

I realized after all this that I needed to get out of the relationship. He is a selfish person and doesn’t consider the other person’s feelings. He is all about his music career.

Since the break up, he’s been stalking me over text messages but it’s all fake stuff. If he truly loves me like he used to say, he would have already bought a plane ticket to see me by now. He’s done nothing to make up for hurting me the way he has. All he seeks is attention…he’s all about getting his narcissistic supply.

His supply ran out with me. NO MORE LEFT!

Char: Sounds like you two were on completely different pages with regard to the nature and commitment of your relationship! Sometimes it takes compiling a list of unacceptable things to realize that which you’ve been in denial of for you to see the light. Most everyone has been through this one. Also, in the grand scheme of things, three months is a tiny blip in the infinity of your existence. Just another notch on the “life experiences/lessons” tally!