I may be young still, but I’ve been in a number of whirlwind relationships since the age of 18, and although plenty of the relationships seemed pointless and a waste of time and life, I can’t say that there wasn’t anything to learn from each of them. Especially in retrospect.

I feel like I learn so much from each of my FRIENDS, and when friends break up or lose touch, there is often a lesson to be learned there. I think this case applies moreso to romantic relationships because you become thismuchcloser to another individual, no matter the length of time you are together.

I’ve learned things from relationships that lasted two and a half months; I’ve learned things from friends with benefits relationships that have spanned the course of over five years. I just don’t think that you can be that close to someone without them making some sort of impact on you, as they were a part of your life’s experiences, and all of our experiences shape us, as I said above.

COMMUNICATION is the thing that ruins so many relationships, because of a lack of it, mixed signals, and as you said, people saying one thing and doing another. All the same, that can’t mean that one shouldn’t trust the next person who comes around just because they were burned by a previous one. That’s just unfair to the next person who comes around who could legitimately be a good person.

If I treated my current boyfriend a certain way because one guy was abusive, another was depressed and closed off, another had BPD, and another was a constant liar, that wouldn’t be fair to him. I say the more productive way to handle situations like that is to find the lesson, wipe the slate, and start anew.

Of course, it’s easy for me to say, especially when it’s been so long since I’ve experienced a breakup. All I can say is that it took time. Even though I “bounced back” in a day, it took a lot of time.

It also seems that some people’s actions and words have a particular meaning that at any moment can be reversed for no apparent reason. This leads me to the conclusion that you can not rely on anything that people say or do and you have to be constantly questioning the meaning and motivation of everything. The most unfortunate part to this is that both yourself and the next person you date are punished because of the actions of others.

That’s life I suppose.

I particularly enjoy the introspective point you make.

It’s the hardest to come to terms with, yet more often than not the most important thing you can do for yourself.