mizChartreuse || redefiningSuccess

“Are you happy?” Angelique asked me.

I thought about her question for a moment. I didn’t want to just say anything anyhow.

It also wasn’t the first time she’d asked me that question. Ange is a woman who is quite dedicated to getting to the bottom of things–not asking, “how’s it going?” in passing, but “how ARE you?”

“You know, I am happy,” I said. “When I zoom out and look at my life, I want for nothing, and I have no complaints.” But happiness doesn’t come from things, per se. And I have more than enough stuff. Just ask my boyfriend.

Ange and I were doing our typical thing, squatting on a parking lot curb in between our fully loaded cars and smoking a cigarette (some things never change–but more about that later). She and I had just finished doing laundry at a Bubbleland for the second time in five days; a record for us.

“Furthermore, I have some of the best, richest relationships on the planet,” I added. Happiness doesn’t come from other people, necessarily, but my social interactions definitely aid in elevating my general mood (I’m still laughing over antics from last weekend and the previous one. And the previous one and the previous). Being with my boyfriend and my beloved family of friends really brings joy to my life.

“Yeah, I’m really very thankful for my life at this particular juncture,” I mused. Building meaningful friendships is high on my #real list of priorities.

We talked more about life and what’s going on in it. Angelique has a great way of making complicated things sound very simple. In fact, I got the whole concept of “zooming out” from her.

One year ago at Pride. Zoom out, bitch!

A bit later, Ange asked me another introspective question: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Not exactly the type of conversation that typically occurs in the parking lot of a south side lavanderia, but our little dates are always so enriching. It’s nice to not hang around with dumbasses.

“Well, Sean and I HAVE to have a bigger place,” was the first thing I blurted out. Wow. #Priorities. The second-floor two-flat apartment I share with my boyfriend in Pilsen is nice, but I would like a bigger closet and a better layout. But I’m pretty sure Ange wasn’t inquiring about what type of roof would be over my head in 2015.

“In all seriousness, I really just want to keep moving forward,” I finally said, trying to make some sense of my thoughts and desires. “To have a solid writing career and most importantly, enjoying life just as much as I do now with all my wonderful relationships.” To not stagnate.

I’m certainly not where I want to “ultimately” be, but life is a journey, and I’m done beating myself up for, well, anything. Guilt doesn’t accomplish anything, whereas action does.

I asked Angelique the same, and she had similar sentiments—wanting a fulfilling career, being happy with her relationships (romantic and platonic), and just continuing to grow up.

“You’ve come so far; I’ve come so far; we’re just going to continue,” she said. “It’s awesome to see how we’ve changed and to wonder where we are going to go. But I know we’ll be all right. We always have been.”

Life isn’t about making plans. You can’t necessarily plan for life, love, nor careers. What’s most important is to be adaptable to change, hard-working, ready for risks, and living in (and enjoying) the present.

***

Ours is a very unique friendship that stems back to when Ange and I were about 14 and 13; freshwomen in high school. We lived across and down the street from one another in good ol’ Palatine.

We played all the time. During summers, we’d sneak out of our houses to meet for what we called a “Midnight Rendezvous”—which was just sitting on a curb, stargazing, talking. Maybe going to the Marathon gas station between our apartment complexes to get an Arizona Iced Tea and a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar. When we hung out in her bedroom, we’d play Scrabble (again, some things never change…) and listen to Incubus through the wee hours of the night. (What REBELS!)

Looking back, we were good kids who just wanted to stay up all night (but I hated the times I’d get caught sneaking into my house right before sunrise).

Ange left her mom’s house after senior year to live with her dad in the city, and when I inevitably ran away from home after a year at Northern Illinois University, I stayed with her at her older cousin’s house on California Ave. We went through being nearly homeless ‘til we found a place in Pilsen at the last possible minute.

We hosted and attended parties, attended SO MANY local shows and Incubus concerts (to the point where a friend suggested our obsession might be “unhealthy”), and were just living our lives the way girls in their late teens/early 20s do.

Ange and I at a Wheaton Grand Theatre show--circa 2004?

The milestones of our lives are similar, even though we took separate paths to where we are today. Everybody does. But the overall similarities are quite parallel.

We started as carefree high school students whose only worry was that a teacher would confiscate our decorated notebooks full of long soul-bearing notes to one another, ridiculous inside jokes, and angsty teenage crush issues. The purpose of saving our paychecks from Jewel (me) and Office Max (she): being able to go to the next live music show.

We both left our childhood households due to adverse situations. We got jobs at a bar which launched our kick-ass serving careers that maintain to this day. We both eventually went back to school to explore career possibilities. Entering into long-term relationships and moving in with our significant others. (Who are both Cancers. Wow.)

at No Doubt last summer

In regard to adulthood, nobody really laid things out for us. We had to learn how to pay bills, manage money, and do the whole college thing on our own. Up until recently, we both still struggled with being conscientious enough to do laundry more often than once a month, but, once again, I have my lifelong partner in crime to keep me on top of such things. At least it always makes for good conversation!

We’ve both learned many a lesson the hard way—but perhaps that’s the best way to do it. As a result, I think—no, I KNOW—that we’re doing pretty well, all things considered. And we will continue to do so. Angelique and I are the free-spirited girls who live life on our own terms, do what makes us happy, always, and cut the fat and drama from life. It’s really simple.

“I’m on the pursuit of happiness, and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold. I’ll be fine once I get it, I’ll be good.” –“Pursuit of Happiness” by Kid Cudi featuring Ratatat & MGMT

So yes, I am happy, thanks for asking. I may be discontent from time to time, and it’s okay because we are meant to experience the full spectrum of human emotions. I doubt I will ever be at a place in my life where I don’t want to do anything more, like: “Welp! I crossed the finish line to happiness; I’m just gonna chill now.” It doesn’t work like that. Happiness is a choice. I have to make the decision that my life is meaningful, and it certainly is.

I’m glad I have her. The story of my and Angelique’s friendship: just another example of Redefining Success.

At Angelique's birthday bash in May. We did NOT talk about outfits that night.