mizChartreuse || redefiningSuccess

Something is very, very wrong with the shit that many of us shovel into our bodies every day.

I’m not a fan of Red Lobster. Same goes for places like Olive Garden, Friday’s, and Chili’s. Basically, I’m referring to large chain restaurants that have franchises and spend millions on advertising. And basically, most things with major corporate backgrounds can suck it. So I’m referring to basically anything you see on television or hear on the radio.

Basically. Basically basically basically.

Too many of us think it’s acceptable to eat basic-ass shit.

To cap off a week of birthday festivities for my boyfriend Sean, he and I went to FlatTop Grill last Thursday, and Red Lobster on Friday night, his actual birthday (July 16).

I will never eat at a Red Lobster again.

I didn’t want to go in the first place, but I made an exception since it was the man’s birthday. Sean and I ordered an appetizer of shrimp bruschetta, which looked decent, but tasted “off.” The Cheddar Bay Biscuits were delectable, as usual, and probably the only thing anyone should ever get at Red Lobster.

Sean chose The Ultimate Feast: lobster tail, snow crab legs, shrimp scampi, and fried shrimp with a side (such as fries, rice, a baked potato, etc.) and a garden salad.

I was leaning toward a simple appetizer sampler, but Sean urged me to get more even though I told him I wasn’t hungry. I ended up getting the Broiled Seafood Platter: Bay scallops, garlic shrimp scampi and stuffed flounder. I chose a Caesar salad, and substituted my side dish for the lobster mashed potatoes for $3.99.

I know that actual dishes RARELY look like the photos used to advertise them, but not only did my food look like shit, it was the worst-tasting dinner I have ever had EVER. (This is why I shouldn’t listen to other people when I’ve already made a decision for myself, ahem…)

The “stuffed flounder” was mushy and flavorless (and I never dug deep enough into it to see if it was actually stuffed with anything– I’m sure it wasn’t.

The “bay scallops” were the size of miniature marshmallows and tasted like rubber. Or maybe uncooked tofu (which tastes like nothing and would still be better).

The scampi was fine, I suppose, if you like shrimp soaked in canola oil and sprinkled with some cheap Adobo seasoning for “flavor.”

I was appalled. I’m not a haughty, high-maintenance diner at all (I’ve worked in food and drink service for years– I hate complainy customers). But when a person I’m assuming was the manager asked us how our food was, I had to say something.

“I really don’t like this,” I told him, looking at the barely picked-over plates in front of me.

“Oh, what’s wrong with it?” He asked me, awkwardly avoiding eye contact because anyone with half a brain could have looked at the food and known it was as appealing as elephant dung.

I had to be honest. Instead of telling him that the “food” was a complete joke, I said, “It’s all very bland and mushy. I can’t eat any of this.”

I gestured toward Sean, who was busily tearing off the shells of a lobster tail and stuffing his face. “But,” I added, “he is enjoying his meal!” Buffering criticism with praise tends to work.

“Hm, yeah,” the manager said. “It is a very bland dish.” I found his admission to be kind of hilarious.

“I’m not trying to be fussy,” I said, trying to be the opposite of bitchy.

“No worries,” he said, not annoyed at all (and almost like, ‘You’re right. I can’t believe people actually pay for this shit.’). “I won’t charge you for the dish.” He took away the plates. I thanked him.

*****

We’re all consuming crap that doesn’t nourish our bodies, but rather accelerates us toward illness and death.

I mean, why is high fructose corn syrup found in everything from bread, salad dressing, tomato soup, and pasta? Because it’s cheap, nevermind the fact that it’s linked to diabetes and obesity.

One of my favorite bloggers, the VigilantCitizen, writes great content that, in summary, exposes the hidden side to almost everything we see in our daily lives. His or her latest series focuses on the poison in our foods, beverages, medicine, and vaccines. Here are a few excerpts from Dumbing Down Society Part I.

On genetically engineered foods (and yes, you can find these at your local Whole Foods):

“According to current statistics, 45% of corn and 85% of soybeans in the United States is genetically engineered (GE). Estimates of 70-75% of processed foods found at our local supermarkets are believed to contain GE ingredients.

“One of the features of GE foods is their ability to withstand unlimited application of chemicals, including pesticides. Bromoxynil and glyphosate have been associated with developmental disorders in fetuses, tumors, carcinomas, and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Yum! Have another giant tomato. It’s a vegetable, right?

***

On pharmaceuticals:

Prescription pills might be of a great help for specific and properly diagnosed cases… [but] many of those pills were approved for sale without proper research for side effects. Even worse: the side effects might have been known but hidden to the public. Think about it: Some drugs are subject to warnings because they can cause you to … commit suicide?

If you’re depressed and want to end it all, how does a drug that might *make* you want to kill yourself help?

***

Fake sugar:

“According to the top doctors and researchers on this issue, aspartame causes headache, memory loss, seizures, vision loss, coma and cancer. It worsens or mimics the symptoms of such diseases and conditions as fibromyalgia, MS, lupus, ADD, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, chronic fatigue and depression.”

I know of a scientist who worked in developing one of the major artificial sweeteners on the market today. Once the product was on store shelves and in restaurants, however, she refused to use it in her household and demanded that her friends and even acquaintances abstain from consuming the stuff in the pretty pink packet.

It’s a shame that people think a chemical is better to ingest than raw sugar (which isn’t healthy either, but wasn’t created in a laboratory). If you need to drink soda so bad, you’re better off with regular Coca-Cola over artificially-sweetened Diet Coke. Shit. Duh. Stop lying to yourself, and stop just “liking the taste.”

*****

On corporate vs. privately-owned food places

I’ve worked in both corporate dining situations and laid back atmospheres, and if you want some fast, tasty food service, you’re way better off going to a small, privately-owned bar/restaurant like Chicago’s Twisted Spoke or Paramount Room over a chain like Bennegan’s or Applebees. Don’t even get me started on Old Country Buffet (self-serve diarrhea behind a sneeze guard).

Privately-owned places take in less overall revenue and rely on local coverage and word-of-mouth, very much so. Their food has to be good or else no one will patronize such places with regularity. WGN’s Chicago’s Best and ABC’s 190 North don’t feature Joe’s Crab Shack for a reason.

Corporations are solely about the bottom line: shareholders and profit by whatever means necessary (which is why Whole Foods uses old meat and dairy to make “fresh” deli and bakery dishes). Americans are too self-deluded to actually realize that we’re being served platters of shit by these highly recognized companies with mouth-watering commercials.

I could just tell by the feel of Red Lobster that things suck and the employees hate their lives. I’m very good at observing the energy of a place, and especially since I work in the industry, I pay more attention to the behind-the-scenes stuff that the average customer doesn’t even think about.

The host who sat us recited his lines like a Stepford Wife. I believe he was a robot. Our server was friendly in a phony way; very impersonal and disingenuous. It’s obvious that she doesn’t talk to her friends or family the way she spoke to us, and it was disturbing. I could even tell that the manager hated having to wear a stupid jacket and tie and catering to a bunch of classless, demanding people who frequent his restaurant.

I thoroughly enjoy working part-time at Twisted Spoke because it’s the exact opposite of a stuffy, sterile corporate environment. The manager and owners leave the rest of the staff alone 98% of the time; I’d much rather work for someone who trusts me to do my easy job on my own, rather than micromanaging trivial things (and let’s face it,nothing about working at a bar/restaurant is that serious). We wear what we want, and tattoos, extravagant accessories, and colorful personalities are encouraged. It’s such a kick-ass place to hang out.

Isn’t all that matters that the people get their food and drink and have a great experience? Why should I have to wear an ugly tie and man’s button-up shirt and apron to take down a hungry or thirsty person’s request and punch it into a touch-screen computer? Maybe the “formal” wear that restaurants employ is to cater to superficial, entitled people who want to feel better about their lives. #lame. Who wants to be served by a drone? It just gives me an unsettled feeling.

*****

If I’d eaten that horrendous, 300-calorie Broiled Seafood Platter (not counting the salad and sides!), it would take me over an hour on the elliptical to burn it off. Sean’s Ultimate Feast may be presented as fit for a king– but everything he ate was well over 1000 calories.

It’s no secret why America is so disgustingly fat. The morose-looking patrons at Red Lobster were a testament to the problem. Certainly, weight is not only related to eating habits and laziness; there are health conditions that affect people’s bodies. But I highly doubt the customers ordering gigantic servings of shit food were being very health-conscious.

Accountability is dead, and people no longer have to think for themselves. It’s up to us to be aware of what we will allow and disallow in our lives– and it goes beyond food.

I’m glad Sean enjoyed his birthday dinner, but I will never be persuaded to eat at Dead Lobster again.