mizChartreuse || redefiningSuccess

Last night was one for the history books, and a year from now we’ll all be amazed at how far she’s come from her first live performance in fourteen years.

I’m talking about my fierce friend Laura Michelle Clarke, one of the most talented singer/songwriters I’ve been blessed to have in my life. On Wednesday, July 21, she broke off the last of her chains, stepped into the spotlight, and sang her heart out to a crowded room during open mic night at Palatine’s Lamplighter Inn.

Here’s the first song she opened with, “Secret War,” a Laura Michelle original.

Laura’s story goes beyond just getting the guts to play guitar and sing in front of an audience– hers is a tale of victory over seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

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A star is born– and stifled

I met Laura back in 2004 when I started working at Sam Ash Music in Buffalo Grove, IL. We hit it off almost instantly, and she played an integral part in my growing up when I ran away from the chaotic circumstances of my parents and home life. Without a doubt, she was there for me during the hardest times of my life.

But while I was getting away from the madness and trying to start my new, independent, adult life, Laura was still deeply immersed in her own personal melodrama.

Laura wrote songs and played guitar as a little girl, and it was her passion; her driving force in life. She grew up inspired by Ann and Nancy Wilson of the band Heart.  In 1996, Laura was in her late teens and started dating a guy with whom she ended up being for well over a decade. There were fun times and hard times, but as time progressed, she slowly lost herself.

Her live performance days were over. Laura would sometimes, abashedly, play for me old cassette tape recordings of her singing and playing guitar. The first time I heard them, I looked at her and said, “Who ARE you?” I was blown away.

Eventually, Laura would bust out one of her many acoustic guitars and play live for me and her friends, usually after a number of glasses of red wine. Laura and our dear friend Diana would sing together, recording ridiculous drunken songs about each other, and people who suck. It was always so wonderful to hear Laura sing, and I just wished the world would hear her someday soon again.

There was something very special about Laura’s talent, hidden deep within her. For those of you who are creative, you know the horrors of artist’s block where you’re not being true to yourself; not able to express what’s within. It’s unsettling, stifling, and depressing.

And after you’ve buried away the fruits of your artistic muse, the voices creep in: “I’m never going to do what I want with myself.” “I’m not good enough to dig out the talents I used to have.” “Nobody’s going to care about what I have to share; it’s been too long.” It can be paralyzing.

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Health and relationship problems

Laura’s health suffered as well. She had always been a healthy, thin, active, normal-sized girl in her youth and teens, but as she progressed into her early 20s, she began to rapidly gain weight and didn’t understand why– she wasn’t doing anything differently. Years later, she would be diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, as well as having a myriad of hormonal issues which affected her weight and catalyzed her depression.

Her relationship troubles really didn’t help. Much like a battered woman fails to leave her dangerous situation for one reason or another, Laura had a hard time escaping the unhealthy relationship she found herself in. Alcohol played a significant role in the fights she had with her domestic partner. Much of the time, he was wonderful to her and they were a hilarious couple, but there were more than a couple times where even me and Diana were witness to the ugliness that can come from hard liquor abuse.

Laura felt a lot of pressure from her boyfriend (who strongly believed in her as we all did) to get back into her music, but the clutter of her personal life was not conducive to being creative, and she retreated even more against the encouragement. She distanced herself from many of her friends, living a monotonous life of shame and loneliness.

Most of us know someone who has stayed in a bad situation for a long period of time. Many of us have done it ourselves.When you’re in the middle of it, it’s often hard to see clearly, no matter what your friends, family, or gut instincts might tell you. It’s even harder when you’ve been in one relationship (ever!), living with the same one guy for so many years. The longer you’re in it, the harder it is to leave.

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Starting over

Laura’s life has had its ups and downs, but this is a story of triumph.

She reached her breaking point over a year ago. Her relationship deteriorated, leaving her and him as being roommates who barely talked. A few key events that happened with the two of them were the last straws for her– and Laura made the decision to break free once and for all, no matter how hard it would be.

While they were still living together, Laura took charge of her life. She started seeing doctors to prepare for gastric bypass surgery– her last resort after years of trying every weight-loss technique in the books. She decided to move into her own apartment when their lease ended last December, solidifying her breakup.

With her new apartment finally set up, she instantly felt more at peace with herself. It was her own space; her haven for meditating on who she really is. Naturally, the creative juices started flowing and Laura started writing music again– her life’s trials serving as deep, honest, raw lyrical content.

Her gastric-bypass went successfully and smoothly. Diana and I visited Laura in the hospital, hours after she’d woken up from surgery. She was loopy and on drugs, and at one point thought the stuffed cat on her bed was real. It was a hilarious sight to see, but she looked well and was geared up for recovery– in more ways than one.

Laura ended her abusive relationship, took charge of her health, was writing music, and was finally independent of the chains that bound her– except one. All that was left was for her to get onstage once again and share her passion with the world.

And she did.

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Redemption song

Below, Laura performs a cover of “Shambala,” by Three Dog Night (and B.W. Stevenson, originally). The song is quite fitting for her story, as it is metaphorical for a spiritual path one might follow, according to Wikipedia. The lyrics refer to a situation where kindness and cooperation are universal, joy and good fortune abound, and psychological burdens are lifted:

Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame
With the rain in Shambala
Everyone is helpful, everyone is kind
On the road to Shambala
Everyone is lucky, everyone is so kind
On the road to Shambala
How does your light shine, in the halls of Shambala?

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Victory over darkness

I couldn’t be more proud of Laura’s accomplishments over the last year. Me and all her friends had heard her play her guitar and sing for us on several occasions, but it was time to go public. She was a nervous wreck, worried about “bombing” her performance, dropping a guitar pick, running out of air, or hitting a wrong note– but those were just the voices creeping in once again. But with the encouragement of her loved ones, she gave the finger to those insecurities and rounded up the strength to perform at Lamplighter Inn on their open mic night last night. Again, it was the first time in 14 years.

As you saw in the videos above, her performance was met with resounding praise. As I recorded her playing, I looked around at all the people who were transfixed by her clear, strong voice harmonizing with her acoustic guitar. People were amazed. There were chills running down my spine and I had goosebumps all over. There was a tremendous number of people in the audience who were Laura’s friends and family (including her ex, with whom she is now platonic friends!), but the anonymous viewers were just as captivated.

We loved her so much that the audience’s decision was unanimous: we needed an encore.

What a tough act to follow.

When Laura finished, a guy at the table next to us asked me, “She wrote all those songs? That was amazing.” I told him about the cover, obviously, but that it was true– they were originals. He was very impressed.

Afterwards, we all marveled at the moment we had just witnessed; it was very emotional. It wasn’t just a lone girl taking the stage and overcoming her nerves to sing in front of strangers.

It was the culmination of her months of hard work in the quest to better herself; and it was the beginning of Laura Michelle Clarke’s rebirth. She’s baaaaack! I can’t WAIT to see where the road ahead takes her. There’s no place to go but to the top.

Congratulations, Laura. We all love and are so very proud of you and your newfound confidence.

If you’re a friend or loved one of Laura Michelle Clarke, please feel free to share your thoughts on the performance, the woman, or any other stories here in the comments below.  :)

You can see Laura Michelle perform every Wednesday night after 7 p.m. at Lamplighter Inn Tavern and Grille, located at 60 North Bothwell Street, Palatine, IL 60067